Saturday, June 5, 2010

Explanations of insanity...

Wow, it's been awhile since I've been on here.  Looks like I need to blow the cobwebs off and explain a few things.

First a picture, as no one really reads blogs, they just want images.  lol

Monae, Straight out of camera.

A friend of mine made a comment to me on facebook the other day stating that she was worried about me due to some recent posts of frustrations, so I thought I'd post what's really going on.  It's not that any really reads my blog anyway, but it's another way for me to put down what I think as I don't normally have anyone to verbally express it to.

I am just fine, just a little frustrated.

I am not that great of a photographer, at least not where I want to be.  It will come with time I'm sure.  The problem is that I've come to a point that to continue progressing where I want to go where I can't do it on my own, nor do I really know anyone here yet that is willing to help me reach these goals.  To make the images I envision requires talent beyond me like wardrobes, hairstylist, location, assistants, etc.  I'm still relatively new here to Charleston, and still haven't really formed a network of the above.

Going to these resources as an unknown, no one seems to help unless a dollar figure is first asked.  I understand this and whole heartedly believe in paying the professionals, but I can't give what I don't have.  I do not yet get paid as a photographer, nor does anyone want to pay a photographer that isn't already being paid it seems.

I know it sounds pathetic, but being a photographer is all I think about.  I loose too many hours of sleep thinking about shoots, when I do sleep I've even found myself dreaming about being at workshops of those I really admire.  When I look at people walking down the street I think about how I could compose them, etc.  Sometimes, I even get worked up to the point that I even feel sick when I want to do something in particular and not having what I need to pull it off.

Sometimes, I do think that I get a little too excited and annoy the few friends I do have asking for help and just wanting to always talk about shooting.  For this I apologize, yet I don't as it's because it's what I love to do.